My old leftie friends are going to hate me for this, but I have become a neo-imperialist. Not since I was a 10-year-old schoolboy gloating over the world map showing all “our” countries in the British Empire, displayed in pink and stretching across the globe from Canada to Australia and New Zealand, with India and huge chunks of Africa in between, have I been so puffed up with pride in imperial conquest!

Wherefore this sudden resurgence of vainglory? Well, the British Empire has been revived, overnight! Even the American colonies, lost by Mad King George a couple of centuries ago, have been restored! Forty countries, in all, taken by storm! Giants such as Russia and Brazil have fallen, plus pretty much the whole of Europe, all rendered now on the map in a mustard hue – pink would look far too gay these days.

Best of all, UK-based Heretic TOC has conquered all these lands without a shot fired or a single life lost! Bless WordPress, for the blog hosts have coloured in the map and drawn up a chart showing all the countries from which Heretic TOC readers have been visiting, and the numbers from each, with the American colonies, formerly known as the United States of America, top of the list!  The New Year started with a bang: 747 hits on 1 January alone, mostly, it seems as a combined effect of lurkers from Sexnet tuning in for Heretic TOC’s take on James Cantor’s “impostor” shenanigans, plus a first listing on Boy Links.

Enough with the self-congratulation already: let me, instead, congratulate all readers for discovering an oasis where serious thought on minor attraction issues is appreciated, including from commentators and – before very long – guest bloggers.

Enough with the merriment also. Time for a bit of that serious thought – really, really serious thought, which will take us to what was once regarded as “the jewel in the crown” of the British Empire: India. I’ll come to that in my next blog.